What do you do when your tank – the spiritual, emotional, physical, mental side – reads “E” for Empty? I'm trying to figure that out myself, because today, for some reason, I have nothing left to give. My body is exhausted, my mind cannot seem to hold one more ounce of information (even though my heart wants to), every emotion that I have is confused, and spiritually I feel like I am at the well searching for Jesus.
Do you ever have those moments where nothing seems to make sense? I have so many friends right now that are searching for jobs, and the doors seem to swing wide, God says come hither follow me, and when you follow it leads to a closed door. Our first emotion is to ask “why”. Why would you lead me to a dead end. I have come to realize over time that we have to follow God to the dead ends, because each step we take is a step in humility knowing that we cannot walk it alone.
So, today, I did my work – got beat up by a few people – which drains me emotionally, it is hot and so I decide to jump on my mtn bike and hit the trails for some revitalization. What I encountered was heat, heat, and heat. I did not drink enough water so that pushed me to my breaking point. My heart popped out of my chest when I nearly rode over a suntanning rattlesnake with about 8 rattles, and to top it all off when I got to the top of the hill, I met my friend and we chatted about life and I thought that I was going to pass out. What do we do when come to the breaking point? We step back, we search for God, we speak with frankness, and we pour out our hearts asking for rejuvenation. So, that is what I did on hill. I asked “why”, I prayed for the “why” to be revealed, and then I asked for “patience” to wait and accept the journey.
I am still exhausted, but at least I can rest in the assurance that tomorrow is another day (should the Lord will it), and that sleep is not to far off in the distance. Seek Him and He will be found. Open the door to your heart today and let Him fill your tank.
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